: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
