So drunk its hurt
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
