so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
