OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
