If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
