I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
