i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
