you guys were way drunker than both of me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
