I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
