i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
