I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
