If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
