Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Randomize
