Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
