You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
