I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
