Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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