dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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