great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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