Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
