I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
