Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
