well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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