I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
