I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
