I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
