He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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