i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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