I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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