laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
