WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
