I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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