Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize