seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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