i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
