If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
