Yo dont text me then not text me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
