they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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