when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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