he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
