Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
