Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
