oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
