I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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