Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
