I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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