i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
