Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
