8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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