he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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