brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
