im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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