How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
