i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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