I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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