she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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